Help save Big Mike's life

$44,243 of $120,000 raised

raised by 577 people in 2 weeks

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As an 8 year old child, I learned far too young how terrifying and cruel this world could be. I wasn’t afraid of the villains in my books or the boogey man under my bed. I feared someone much more terrible...

 

He was someone that I respected and trusted; someone whose job it was to keep me safe. His actions caused me much pain; beyond what a person should ever feel. For four years, I was abused by him.

 

He stole from me everything a child holds dear: innocence, trust in others and everything deemed pure and holy to childhood. I was left broken. Loneliness and sorrow were all I knew from that point on. Over 32 years later, those experiences and their residual feelings still haunt me.

 

He was a pedophile and unfortunately, I was his victim. Parts of myself were forever taken away from me by him.

 

Every victim learns survival coping mechanisms; as a young adult I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. I didn’t feel safe talking to the adults in my life. Self-medicating with street drugs gave way to a full blown addiction.

 

Addiction took over my life for almost twenty years. When I was finally able sober up, I wanted to repay the people who had helped me along the way. They responded to me with the same sentiment: “Pay it forward.” I turned that phrase into my life’s work.

 

I vowed never to let anyone else become a victim as I did. I knew that I couldn’t stop all of the evil things which occurred in the world, but I could dedicate myself to undoing the damage that abuse inflicts.  

 

For over a decade I succeeded, putting my own needs and those of my family aside. I would be there anytime, anywhere, for anyone. I bore the weight of all their pain: abuse, neglect, rape, addiction, and abandonment. Thousands of men, women, teens, and even children needed my services. While working privately as an Addictions Counselor in Jerusalem, I gave group therapy at several different Yeshivot. I volunteered my time in and around the downtown Jerusalem area.

 

In 2012 I opened up the Jerusalem Sober House, an in-patient addiction treatment facility. For over four years dozens young men came through our doors and I treated each one as family. I kept late nights waiting to make a phone call to America in order to get someone the best care and would run out of the house at all hours to deal with an emergency.

 

However, as time went on, the pressure increased and my personal and professional relationships suffered, and then fell apart. I wound up on a ledge with the intention of jumping off but I didn’t, thank God. I am so grateful to my friends who were there to pull me back; to save my life. to help me get the help I so desperately need. During that dark time in my life I caused people I cared about deep pain for which am profioundly sorry for. Eventually I found myself at a fork in the road of my existence.

After that I couldn’t pretend that everything was okay. So began my journey inflicted with mental illness for which I had never been diagnosed. I spent two and a half months in an inpatient facility, away from my family and everything that made me feel safe, and received several different combinations of medication and alternative therapy. As the finances ran out, I had to leave. Coming out more stable than when I went in I was still hardly functional.

 

Six months and two psychiatrists later, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. It was such a relief to finally have a name and a set of symptoms to describe what it was that I was experiencing. My diagnosis gave a context to my irrational fears, flashbacks, constant nightmares, insomnia, agoraphobia, unstable emotions and panic attacks. Now my family and friends could understand my triggers and help me manage them more effectively.

 

PTSD is a mental disorder that can develop when a person is exposed to a traumatic event that triggers an over-reactive and maladaptive response to fear. The biochemistry of the brain changes and a “trigger” will cause the victim to experience the traumatic event as if it is re-occurring!

 

C-PTSD (Complex) occurs as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving harm or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic. The main distinction of C-PTSD is that it distorts a person's core identity.

 

My wife and I have spent more than a year trying to put in place a proper treatment plan. We have not been successful and I am not able to function. Many people in my situation unfortunately don’t make it very long, taking their own lives in order to stop the constant pain. I still hold on to every day for everyone who I have brought back from the brink, for my family who I love with all of my heart, and for me. I am worth life and I am worth help.

 

Now the time has come for me to take the next step in my efforts toward recovery. My family has been through enough. And so we are relocating to America where there are more treatment options for me.

 

There is one particular facility in Florida that specializes in treating PTSD and could be life-saving for me. A three month stay, which is what they have recommended for me, costs $120,000. I am now turning to you for help in raising this life-saving money which would impact greatly upon my life and that of my family and will, please God, help me feel whole and stable again. I thank you in advance for any help you are able to offer me and wish you much health and happiness.

 

Big Mike Gondelman.  

 

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$44,243 of $120,000 raised

raised by 577 people in 2 weeks

Created by

Michael Gondelman
June 2017

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Netanel Prero donated

4 hours ago $20.00
In honor of Big Mike

Anonymous donated

7 hours ago $200.00

Shmuel Weisberg donated

9 hours ago $36.00

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18 hours ago $18.00

B. Heinemann donated

18 hours ago $50.00

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18 hours ago $75.00

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1 day ago $25.00

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1 day ago $10.00
In honor of Tatiana, Leibish, & kids <3

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1 day ago $54.00

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1 day ago $180.00

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In honor of refua shleima for Alexander Shlomo ben Chana

Ross Shapiro donated

2 days ago $180.00

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2 days ago $350.00

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2 days ago $18.00

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2 days ago $72.00
In honor of esther bas chana

Gennadiy Vaynshteyn donated

2 days ago $36.00
In honor of Big Mike who brought so much light into mine and everyone's life. Also, to Refua Shleima of my mother in law, Galina Gittel Bas Faina Feiga who was just diagnosed with cancer.

Brooke Cromar donated

2 days ago $100.00

Daniel & Loren Mitchell donated

2 days ago $36.00
In memory of Raizel Marium bas Daniel

Christopher Buchenholz donated

3 days ago $18.00
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3 days ago $101.00

Shmuel Yosef Elbinger donated

3 days ago $50.00

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3 days ago ₪100.00

Dovid Meshchaninov donated

3 days ago $18.00

Rachel Meyer donated

3 days ago $18.00

Mosheh Vineberg donated

3 days ago $180.00
In honor of Refus sheifa to Big Mike and Sima Naomi bat Dada

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3 days ago $100.00

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3 days ago ₪200.00

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3 days ago $36.00

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3 days ago $18.00
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4 days ago £15.00

Adam Singer donated

4 days ago $36.00

Richard Ambrose donated

4 days ago $54.00
In memory of Murray Ambrose

Peretz Rickett donated

5 days ago $250.00
In honor of Big Mike

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5 days ago $500.00
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5 days ago $50.00

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In memory of Natan Shalom ben Leah Dinah

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1 week ago $500.00
In honor of Rabbi Daniel Steinherz

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1 week ago $20.00

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1 week ago $18.00

Jacob donated

1 week ago $36.00

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1 week ago $100.00

Shlomo Klein donated

1 week ago $30.00
In honor of Big Mike an inspiration to us all

Yehuda KOWALSKY donated

1 week ago $118.00

Chanoch Krohn donated

1 week ago $200.00

Israel Gross donated

1 week ago $36.00

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $36.00

BR donated

1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $36.00

Meir Feit donated

1 week ago $100.00

Yisroel Rosenzweig donated

1 week ago $100.00
In honor of My brother big M

Elana Arlin donated

1 week ago $180.00

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $118.00
In honor of Get it mike you got this

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1 week ago $36.00

Roy Ziv donated

1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $180.00
In honor of All klal yisroel!

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1 week ago $101.00

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1 week ago $100.00

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $36.00

Jason Rosenblatt donated

1 week ago $36.00

Janet Salman donated

1 week ago $20.00
In memory of Moishe Drummer z"l

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $360.00
In memory of Yishai' Naftoli Hertz ben Aaron

Simeon Pollock donated

1 week ago $36.00
In honor of Big Mike & Neveh Zion

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $36.00

Shmuelgrossman2 donated

1 week ago $6.00
In honor of Your a hero Mike! G-d bless! Ain shum yiush!!

Josh donated

1 week ago $5.00
In honor of Big Mike

Ephraimsternberg donated

1 week ago $100.00
In honor of Yosef leibowitz

Yochruth donated

1 week ago ₪36.00
In honor of Racheli

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1 week ago $250.00
In honor of miriam bas rivka

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1 week ago ₪890.00
In honor of The Master of the World

Simcha Edward Margolis donated

1 week ago $72.00
In honor of Mike Gondelman

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1 week ago $18.00
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1 week ago $36.00

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $72.00

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1 week ago ₪180.00

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1 week ago $25.00

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1 week ago $200.00

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $36.00

Anonymous donated

1 week ago $15.00
In honor of Big Mike

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1 week ago ₪100.00

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1 week ago $200.00

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1 week ago $1.00

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1 week ago $200.00
In memory of DC Reid

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1 week ago $50.00
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1 week ago $54.00

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $250.00
In honor of Gershon Ben Alexandra

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1 week ago $250.00

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $300.00
In honor of Big Mike!

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $100.00

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1 week ago $18.00

Bellowsbunch donated

1 week ago $360.00
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Anonymous donated

1 week ago $18.00

Dmanharris donated

1 week ago $108.00
In honor of Chai Dollars for Big Mike and Each Member of His Family - May Y'all find Bracha and Nechama in life.

Drphysicaltherapy donated

1 week ago $18.00

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1 week ago $50.00

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1 week ago ₪100.00

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1 week ago $72.00
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1 week ago $50.00
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1 week ago ₪50.00
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2 weeks ago $72.00
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2 weeks ago $30.00

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2 weeks ago $500.00

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2 weeks ago $1.00

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2 weeks ago $180.00
In honor of Big Mike!

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2 weeks ago $50.00
In honor of big mike

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2 weeks ago $36.00
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2 weeks ago $180.00
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2 weeks ago $72.00
In honor of The Gondelman Family!

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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In honor of Your whole family

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2 weeks ago $180.00

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2 weeks ago $100.00
In honor of Big Mike

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2 weeks ago $180.00

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2 weeks ago $36.00
In honor of ליבישBig Mike

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2 weeks ago ₪50.00
In honor of Mike Gondleman

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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2 weeks ago $10.00

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2 weeks ago $26.00

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2 weeks ago $50.00
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2 weeks ago $10.00

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2 weeks ago $50.00
In memory of Tzippy Kahane Kaplan

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2 weeks ago $10.00
In honor of Big mike

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2 weeks ago $26.00
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2 weeks ago $20.00

Bsilveymba donated

2 weeks ago $101.00
In memory of Harav Chuna Menachem Mendel Weinbach, zt”l

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2 weeks ago $18.00
In honor of Mike Gondelman

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2 weeks ago $36.00
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2 weeks ago $100.00

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2 weeks ago $36.00

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2 weeks ago $250.00
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2 weeks ago ₪250.00

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2 weeks ago ₪100.00

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2 weeks ago $100.00

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2 weeks ago $900.00
In honor of Sheera Bas Bracha

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2 weeks ago ₪118.00

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2 weeks ago $54.00
In honor of all my girls who have suffered similarly

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2 weeks ago $54.00

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2 weeks ago $36.00

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2 weeks ago $18.00
In memory of Gershon benYItzchok

Anonymous donated

2 weeks ago $180.00
In honor of ...Big Mikes Enormous contribution to thousands. You are a solider. This is my investment in you...

Adler385 donated

2 weeks ago $36.00
In memory of Yaakov Ben Avraham halevi

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2 weeks ago $1.00

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2 weeks ago $218.00
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2 weeks ago $15.00
In honor of Frida bat Natanel

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2 weeks ago $50.00

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2 weeks ago $18.00
In honor of Big Mike

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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2 weeks ago $20.00

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2 weeks ago $72.00

Anonymous donated

2 weeks ago $180.00
In memory of Elimelech Eitan Ben Reuven and Clayton Aryeh Ben Avraham Avinu

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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2 weeks ago $36.00

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2 weeks ago $25.00
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2 weeks ago $26.00

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2 weeks ago £25.00

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2 weeks ago $20.00

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2 weeks ago $18.00
In honor of Big Mike and his wife and family.

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2 weeks ago $25.00

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2 weeks ago ₪540.00

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2 weeks ago $50.00

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2 weeks ago $100.00

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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2 weeks ago $72.00
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2 weeks ago $180.00
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2 weeks ago $10.00

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In honor of Leibel Estrin

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2 weeks ago $10.00

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2 weeks ago $5.00

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2 weeks ago ₪36.00
In honor of His wife and kids - and of course, Big Mike himself!

Anonymous donated

2 weeks ago ₪36.00

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2 weeks ago $10.00

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2 weeks ago $18.00

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2 weeks ago ₪100.00

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2 weeks ago $100.00

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2 weeks ago £5.00

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2 weeks ago $100.00

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2 weeks ago £15.00

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2 weeks ago $100.00
In honor of Big Mike

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2 weeks ago ₪100.00

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2 weeks ago $200.00

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2 weeks ago ₪360.00
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In honor of Big mike

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In honor of Rachel & Daniel Brody

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In honor of Jeffrey Lawrence Baehr who's in rehab recovering from addiction

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2 weeks ago $20.00

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2 weeks ago $36.00

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In honor of Big Mike

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2 weeks ago $180.00

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2 weeks ago $180.00
In honor of My Son Whose bravery in confronting similar demons has taught me the true meaning of bravery. He went to this special place in florida and it changed his life. Good Luck and may it change yours for the better

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2 weeks ago $36.00
In honor of Your honesty, bravery, and strength. Even healers need healing- wishing you deep peace, healing, growth, clarity, and light in this journey, for you and your family.

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In honor of Big Mike u got this

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In honor of Big Mike's big heart

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I have a  friend waiting for children for a few years after  A few     Surgeries  I spoke to him and he told me that he doesn

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